Living in the search of life... boom love life!

Hello my blog! Hello my followers!
Goodevening.

I just finished reading a "pocket book".
Hmmm. Gusto ko lang i-update ang aking blog na matagal nang na-stock. How's my life? ayun. patuloy pa rin. patuloy sa paghamok ng mga pagsubok sa buhay. Living in the search of life (still and forever). Hindi naman daw talaga hinahanap ang buhay eh. Eh ano lang? ewan ko ba. di ko alam ang kasagutan dyan. haha.

Hindi pa ako inaantok. At dahil sa hindi pa ko antok, kung anu-ano nanaman ang sumasagi sa aking isipan. Tulad nang pangalawang hiling ko ngayong pasko na, LOVELIFE PARA SA LAHAT! dapat yan maisulong at maisakatuparan! Hahahaha dahil isa ako sa mga walang lablayp. AKO na NBSB, AKO na SINGLE, AKO na. Kasalanan ko bang single ako? haha.
It really annoys me kapag may nagtatanong kung bakit wala pa kong bf. Sa isip-isip ko, "porket maganda kailangan may boyfriend na?" AKO NA TALAGA. hahahaha. Don't they get it? at teka nga, 'te, may tama bang kasagutan diyan sa tanong na yan? Tingin ko wala. Sa tingin ko ha. See, anong isasagot mo sa tanong na  walang kasiguraduhang sagot? Kahit i-search mo pa sa google at ipagdasal yta yan araw-araw eh, hindi mo talaga masasagot yan. Di bale ba kung right time na. In God's time ba. :)
Hindi naman ako choosy, hindi naman sa ayaw ko, hindi naman dahil sa bawal pa. Ang sakin lang, I want a serious and mature relationship. Yung matatawag mong "boyfriend ko/ my potential husband". Maturely speaking, ayoko ng fling at landiang relasyon. Yung puro enjoy at excitement lang. Gusto ko yung totoo, yung may thrill! hihihi. I want to experience a REAL RELATIONSHIP. Yung kahit magkaibang-magkaiba kami, magk.click at magkakaintindihan kami. Yung relation na, his my boyfriend at the same time my best friend. Lucky kung kapamilya din ang turingan namin. Eh kaso wala akong makilalang ganoon eh. Kaya wala akong BF at wala akong madala at mapakilala dito. ayan. haha. Ngayon pa't aalis na si papa, wala si kuya at mama. Paano ako niyan? mukmok mag-isa? hahaha. tag-iisa pa kami ng floors dito :)
Kung iisipin kong mabuti, yung tipo ko kasi doesn't suites my age. 3 out of 10 girls siguro ang katulad ng perception ko pagdating sa ganitong relationship. Masaya magka lovelife, for real. Na-experience ko naman yon kahit NBSB ako. Lahat ng kakiligan at kalokohan to the highest level talaga. Masarap sa feeling eh. Basta. I can't explain it. Haha.

2012 na at wala pa kong BF. Nagdebut na ko't lahat wala pa rin. Baka nga pag kinasal na mga kuya ko eh, wala pa rin akong BF! damn that. napakadamot naman ng mundo pag ganon!? haha. Hindi naman ako nagdedemand na magka-BF, ang sa akin lang, may karapatan naman din ako magkaron ng ganon. Tamo, dalaawang taon na lang at graduate na ko sa teenage years ko at di ko man lang naranasan magkaroon ng BF! haha. I want to experience that! haha. Kakayanin ko lahat ng responsibilities at pagkakasyahin ko lahat ng oras! kung kailangan pang mag-sacrifice, edi go! hahaha. Pero hindi pa ko ready.

Kung magkakaron man ako ng boyfriend, ang ayoko lang naman ay dagdag responsibilidad sa buhay ko. Yung tipong ako pa magtatanggol at ako pa iintindi. Arggggh. I hate boys talaga promise. I hate them all. Pero hindi ko pa naman sila nata.-try lahat eh. HAHA! Let me clarify that. Hindi ko kasi maintindihan yung takbo ng utak nila e. danggulo. napaka.kumplikado nila. Mas kumplikado pa sa mga hairstyles nila.

make sense

12mn.
NP: love will keep us alive :)) super loooove the song :")
Haha. ayon. sandamakmak na ka.dramahan nanaman to.. nawa'y wag kang maasar, kung sino ka mang nagbabasa :))

Okay. it's almost midnight and I'm half awake doing this senseless blog. super senseless.
I want to understand / get your point. ano bang pumipigil sayo? No idea ako eh. gusto lang kitang maintindihan.

Okay. it ends there. antok na ko actually.

trippin' :DD

Thank God :)

Impression:
Normal ultrasound of the urinary bladder, uterus and ovaries.
Adnexae- negative
Post-void residual of 23.96 (5.5 %)

I'm negative to Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (pcos) .. yeah yeah yeah :DD magkakaanak pa ako in the future!!
But still, babalik pa ako sa makati medical for my bacne... and i-check kung hormonal imbalance lang ba ito.hehe buti na yon.. hormonal imbalance :)) yeah I'm so proud.. Now I'm taking spinorolactone, pampababa ng androgen hormone. haha.. Nasayang yung ilang araw ng pag-iisip ko, hahahahaha. super nega ba naman kc eh. ayon. gusto ko lang mag.blog.. hehehe...

=naj=

n.o.s.t.a.l.g.i.a

I miss those days.
I miss chatting and texting my friends all night, having endless talks "telebabad" with my barkadas, receiving letters every reco, getting surprises and gifts during my birthday or any occasion, and most of all, those people who trusted me a lot... those people who believed that I can do such things.

You can't realize the worth of a moment, 'til it becomes a memory... Though it's true, I still don't want to believe on it even fate is telling me. There's no exact word that can describe my mood tonight, feelings i may say. (drama. haha.) A bit of loneliness, unsatisfied, feeling of solitude? i don't know. i really don't know...

I miss my adviser-father of mine whom I could talk to, someone whom I can walk with. My true friends who gives me a warm big hug, whom can understand me and whom I can run to. My classmates whom I used to teased, having "wagas laughs" after hearing a korny joke.

.. everything has changed, especially those people around me now. I mean, college. I'm not yet used to it-- I'm just having a hard time in adjusting. I don't want to go in there anymore, I don't want to be in that place anymore... I feel so alone. I'm falling into pieces. I'm losing myself.

I miss myself. I miss God. I miss my family. I miss my true friends. I miss those people. I miss all of them. Feels like I lost in touch... If I could stop the time for a while, I would. If I can turn back time, I will. If only I can... I'll take the advantage just to be with them again.

I don't know how to end this blog, or should I continue blog my nonsense dramas here?.. I don't know. I really don't know. but God knows.

heart's day is coming...

" And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart
Until the end of time
You're all i need
My love, my valentine. "

It's almost Valentines day.
and first time kong uuwi ng diretso bukas. haha.. at first time ko ding di makakasama ang barkada ko this valentines. We used to celebrate it together kasi. =)

So, what's with me this valentines?.. wala naman. FOREVER ALONE. haha! xD
ang tagal ko na ring di nakapag-blog... nasaktong wala akong ginagawa ngayon. What I want lang naman bukas eh, matapos na sana lahat ng aking gagawin. At may date ako bukas w/ ANA-PHY.  Grabe, mahalin mo naman ako! you make my head hurts. hahahaha ;p

I really wonder how it feels to celebrate it talaga with special someone. hehe. Di naman ako nagmamadali. anyway ...


HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE! =)

Uncertainty.

I just want to be with mature people. That's what I need tonight.
Having a road trip with a bunch of snacks, drinking mocha frappucino while having a very long hours of talks with them, watching the innumerable shining stars or waiting for the sun to set. How romantic it was when you have someone to be with those times, for couples i mean. =)

Night is the end of the day. It is the where the world fades for a moment and my uncertainties gets in. My mind keeps on insisting negative things that i don't want to think about. I'm too young for this. So young to be mature.. yeah it's true, in a way. I just act like a kiddo-kid when I'm with people who are mature than me... not older than me. I don't know. Maturation don't always compromise with age. Age tells you how long you we're living where in maturation is self-discovery, an increase in thinking abilities and understanding.

I have my own will.
I stand and decide in my own.
I know my limitations.

Everything has its OWN reason.

You can’t base your life on other people’s expectations.

People will do ignore you or even hate you. They will do anything just to bring you down. Making rumors to be notice. But the truth is they can't get ahead of you, you're just too high to be reach by them. Go girl. Be fearless. Don't live by someone else shadow. Bida ka kasi kaya ganon. =)


woooohooo. Almost 1 week na kong pumapasok...
Still pressured. NAUSEA attacks.

It's been a very long day for me, not a nice one. Ang hirap mag-petiks. promise. I try to slow down but my neurons don't agree with one another. Or stressed out, may I say... I was called by my professor these afternoon about our topic yesterday. BOOM. I do not know what he's asking. I don't know where am I on earth when he discussed that thing. "Did he really taught that at all??" Haha. I was so sleepy that time, a bit nervous. I was able to answer his question but I wasn't able to differentiate the meaning of those "things". Actually, the question is VERY easy to be answered. Common sense Common sense. whews... I don't know. Haha mababa lang naman yon eh. wala lang...
'di ko makakaila na very competent ng mga classmates ko this semester. 'di talaga maiiwasan ang competition. I'm not competing with them anyway. =).


I finally realized why am I in a03 last sem... my starting point.
I used to be a leader, a fight-fixer, a preacher? haha. I don't consider myself a smart one, madiskarte lang. =) very long story . . .


I know God planned my life, I just have to live with it. If things doesn't fit to it's proper places, it will be fit in time. I need self-confidence. I need courage. I really need it so badly. Positive ions, hunt me and attach to me, please??... I just do need it by now.

--naj